There’s a quiet battle raging within most entrepreneurs when it comes to self-esteem. It doesn’t matter how smart, attractive, or successful you are – when you lack confidence, you will be falling short of your own potential. When you finally learn to accept yourself as you are and stop comparing yourself to others, a whole new world of abundance and opportunities arise you’ve never even dreamed of.
I reached out to Lisa Marie Pepe to get her insights on how to stop our inner critic for good. Lisa is a Confidence Coach and Online Visibility Expert, as well as the author and co-creator of The Art of Unlearning Anthology Series, and Mindset Mastery for Entrepreneurs.
Here’s her tips on silencing the inner chatter that can derail our journey to success.
1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
“You are a unique individual, born with an immense array of gifts and talents that should be celebrated. There is no one else who can do exactly what you do in the way that you do it. Sadly, rather than looking at your uniqueness as something to celebrate, your mind likely goes right to the negative,” says Pepe. “You probably start to feel like you don’t belong because you’re different. But the world doesn’t need another carbon copy of anybody else. It needs you.
“Stand in front of the mirror with your eyes wide open so that you can see yourself and proudly proclaim aloud, ‘I am more than enough. I have what it takes to make a positive impact in this world. I operate from a space of authenticity and show up in the world as my true self. Today is the day that I choose to love, honor, and accept myself just as I am.’”
2. Play To Your Strengths
Society places a heavy emphasis on fixing what we perceive to be our weaknesses. But our time would be better spent homing in on our strengths and the things that come natural to us. “Not doing so is a recipe for low self-esteem with a side of diminished self-confidence,” notes Pepe.
“Consider sticking to the things that come naturally to you and that bring you joy. Your ‘perceived weaknesses’ are really just someone else’s opinions about you,” reminds Pepe. “Accept yourself as you are, focus on your strengths, and pay no attention to the naysayers and the critics.”
3. Keep A Thought Journal
By actively observing your own internal dialogue over the course of several days, you might be surprised to find out just how many times in a day you put yourself down. Many of the things you perceive about yourself are really the opinions of other people from your past or current environment.
“For example, if you grew up hearing from a parent that you were stupid and incapable of being successful, chances are you’re still walking around with a deeply embedded wound that now manifests itself in the way that you talk to yourself and about yourself,” says Pepe.
“Once you’re able to identify how your internal dialogue affects your current state of mind, it’s time to flip the switch. This means catching yourself in the moment whenever you feel a negative thought or emotion coming on and quickly making an internal shift to correct your thinking.”
4. Make Peace With Yourself
“Identify who or what has been holding you back so that you can forgive, move forward, and take back your personal power. You can do this by simply taking a piece of paper and folding it in half. In the first column write down all of the negative thoughts you have about yourself as well as your fears. In the second column, write out the names of anyone and everyone that comes to mind who you feel may have had a negative impact in your life in some capacity,” suggests Pepe.
“Then, go back through your list in the first column and begin to draw lines to the individuals in the second column that you feel may have been directly related and reflected in the way that you treat yourself presently. As you go through the list and make these associations, a great practice to implement is saying the sacred Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness, Ho’oponopono. You could also create your own sacred message and recite it as you go through each person on your list.”
5. Upgrade Your Circle Of Influence
“You don’t have to look very far to find negative people who can find something depressing to say even on the sunniest, most gorgeous, picturesque day. They thrive on complaining and focusing on what’s not working instead of being grateful for what is working,” says Pepe.
“If you are surrounded by people like this, you need to seek out individuals who are positive and share a similar vision as you. It’s hard to feel down when you’re in a room full of people who are passionate and encourage one another to go after their dreams. It’s been said that you are the average of the five people who you surround yourself with the most, so you must choose your circle wisely.”
By Stephanie Burns